Teaching My Son To Drive

It`s mis-used, over-used, and abused, and I`m adding myself to the bunch of abusers.......'seems like yesterday'. Seems like yesterday I held my son Tyler in my arms for the first time. Seems like yesterday I was changing his diapers. Seems like yesterday I was taking him to the park, taking him to school, taking him to his friends house.

Things have flipped and the tables are turned; now he is taking me places. Yup, there is one more teenager on the roadways. Teaching your kid to drive has to be one of the biggest testers of trust there is. I`ll admit upfront that it wasn`t all me. He got his feet wet early on thanks to his Grandpa. His grandpa, who has much more experience teaching kids to drive than I, has been letting him drive his big ole' diesel when they visit the boonies for years, probably since Tyler was about 11 years old. His grandma would let him drive her to various close places after he got his permit, and when his dad wasn`t working in another city, he would let him drive as well. On a day to day basis however, it was mostly me. Now I must also say that I am a pretty non-reactionary person. Things, or people for that matter, really don`t get under my skin too often and I`m fairly easy going. But, on more than one occasion, I did find myself clenching my fists and quickly shoving my foot over the brake. The brake that I had no control over! I wonder what would happen if a car had a break on the passenger`s side! What a mess that would be! I thought I was pretty darn patient but my son will sing a different tune. He says I yelled at him alot. Define alot. I raised my voice a couple times in shear terror as I was envisioning slamming into the rear end of the car in front of us when my brake malfunctioned. Or when I didn`t see his head move and look over his shoulder to see if it was safe to merge. I think I finally realized that teaching your child to drive is best done whilst sitting in the passenger seat, head tilted down, staring at your feet. I felt most comfortable in that position.

This past summer, while he still had his permit, he went back east to Pennsylvania with his grandpa. They drove the diesel pick-up from Las Vegas, NV to Harrisburg, PA, switching off between the two of them. My son texted me every day telling me of his adventures and cluing me in on the lessons he learned about freeway etiquette. That was huge for Tyler. He was able to log alot of his needed fifty hours required from the DMV. I am very thankful to his Grandpa for that and for teaching him road manners. For some reason the manners seem pretty hard to spot nowadays. After his vacation he had all but a couple of the nighttime hours he needed and was biting at the bit to take the driving part of the test. He called the DMV and made an appointment for the next available testing time. I was nervous for him. I`m sure he was too. I`m sure after failing the written test a couple times he was praying that the driving part would go much more smoothly.

My boy, who usually procrastinates everything not pertaining to skiing or Call Of Duty Modern Warfare 2, pushed digits on his Iphone faster than I`ve ever seen him! He scheduled the next available appointment; 11:30 a.m., Halloween morning. Thanks be to God that we are not a suspicious people or we would`ve been freaking out because of the date. He was happy it was a morning appointment; he wanted no questions as to whether school was in session and if he needed to obey the school zone limits. Here in Reno, it can sometimes be confusing. Some school zones have the flashing lights and some just have signs, signs that many times have been obscured by an overgrown tree and its branches. We gathered up the necessary birth certificate, social security card, and driver`s permit and headed out the door. Tyler was pretty confident. His biggest concern; how to foresee whether a green light was about to turn yellow, and then, do I apply hard pressure to my brakes causing the instructor`s seat belt to tighten around her neck, or go through it and risk it turning red? Running a red light was an automatic fail, just like speeding through a school zone. I had no comforting advice; all I could do was reassure him that he is a good driver and try to relax. If I knew how to predict a green light about to turn yellow I would`ve let him in on it. But I don`t. Sometimes I can judge it and get a feeling, but there`s no tell tale sign as far as I know. We arrived to the DMV at the appointed time, took a seat for a few minutes, and his name was called. His instructor was female. She had a sense of humor, but you could also tell that she was an 'enforcer'. She just had that take charge vibe to her. I guess you have to be bold in order to risk your sanity and to put your safety into the lives of people you`ve never even met, let alone trust behind the wheel of a one ton killing machine. The two of them went out the doors and proceeded to get into my Trailblazer, talking, and for the most part, smiles on their faces.

I think those were the longest fifteen minutes of my life. I kept staring at the door, waiting for re-entry. They arrived and his adviser called me outside. What came to my mind first was, "Oh shit. He failed. Poor Tyler." She was a fast talker and sort of mumbled what my son and I thought was, "He didn`t pass." She proceeded to explain what he did wrong and that he needed to gain some more confidence. He hesitated at an intersection behind the white line, yielding to oncoming traffic waiting for a chance to turn left, when I guess she thought he needed to nudge out further and be more aggressive. We, as parents, were unsure of the actual law; as some people said it was now illegal to nudge past the white line, while others said you could go halfway into the intersection. We erred on the side of caution and instructed him to wait. He was following our advice. Then she said something about not driving with anyone in his passenger seat for six months unless they are family. Wait. He passed? We had both heard her wrong! Or possibly she said it wrong at the beginning, didn`t matter, I was so happy for him! And scared for myself. Put that feeling aside Mama, show the happiness. Off we went to submit the passed test and get his picture taken for his license.

Daily I pray. I ask God to keep him safe and to keep my truck out of harms way. Currently we`re looking for a tank of his own. You know, something dependable, undestructible, and safe. Until we find it, he`s driving my SUV. Every time he drives away I get this feeling in my heart. The "Oh God please don`t let me get that phone call" feeling. That feeling subsides with the "Hey Tyler, will you take your sister to cheer for me?".